1.2

things I have lost or forgotten

  • how it feels to be carefree
  • the freedom of childhood
  • the innocence of childhood
  • my grandfather’s scent
  • friendships
  • loved ones
  • how it feels to be unafraid

one day you’re a child in your father’s arms
laughing, carefree
exploring unknown worlds
never wondering why your mother cries
not realizing you don’t even remember your grandfather’s scent
never experiencing loss,
you don’t know how tightly to hold on
life is a strange mystery and you’re unafraid

It’s been so long since you’ve held me. There is no sense memory. Nothing to hold onto. No trigger. A walk through the park in late October is nothing more. The faint smells of the bakery downtown illicit no emotional response. Nothing reminds me of you. And so you fade. Slowly at first. Until, eventually, you’re no more than a name on the backs of pictures in old photo albums.